Understanding
by GrimSage
Summary: Buffy and Faith have a long overdue talk. Takes place during and after 'End of Days'. An AU BuffyFaith femslash fic.
1. The Talk

Summers' House a.k.a. 'Command Central'

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Buffy and Faith are in Buffy's room. A little moment of Slayer private time.

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Faith's eyes are closed, she is holding the scythe with both hands. 

"You feel it too, don't you?", Buffy says confidently.  


"Damn. And damn, that's something.", Faith's voice is filled with awe.  


"I know."  


"It's old. It's strong, and it feels like... like it's mine." Faith places it on the bed beside her, looking at the older slayer. " I guess that means it's yours.", the resignation evident in her voice.  


"It belongs to the slayer.", Buffy says as she picks up the scythe.  


"Slayer in charge, which, I'm guessing, is you."  


Buffy sat on the edge of the bed, looking at Faith. "I honestly don't know. Does it matter?", she asked curiously.  


"It never mattered to me." Faith replied, " Somebody has to lead. Let's vote for Chao-Ahn. It's harder to lead people into a deathtrap if you don't speak English."  


"It wasn't your fault.", Buffy reminded her.

Faith looks away from her, guilt in her eyes, "I'm really not looking for forgiveness."  


"You're not?", Buffy asks with surprise.

"What do you want me to say? I blew it."  


"You didn't blow it.", Buffy said, placing a reassuring hand on her arm.  


"Tell that to..."  


"People die. You lead them into battle, they're gonna die. It doesn't matter how ready you are or how smart you are. War is about death. Needless, stupid death."

Faith absorbs this a moment before speaking. "So, here's the laugh riot. My whole life I've been a loner."

"That's the funny part? Did I miss something?", Buffy asks, confused.  


"I'm trying to.."

"Sorry. Sorry. Go.", she waves her hand for Faith to continue.  


"No ties, no buddies, no relationships that lasted longer than... well, Robin lasted pretty long.", Faith grins at the memory, "Boy's got stamina."  


"Principal Wood? And you? And in my...", the realization causes Buffy to stand and pace.  


"Don't tell me you two got wriggly.", Faith comments, a look of surprise on her face.  


"No. No. No, no. We're just good friends. Or mortal enemies, depending on which day of the...", Buffy stops herself, getting back on track. "Was that the funny part?"

Faith decides to cut to the chase, "OK. The point. Me, by myself all the time. I'm looking at you, everything you have, and, I don't know, jealous.", the admission surprises Buffy, but Faith fails to notice and continues, "Then there I am. Everybody's looking to me, trusting me to lead them, and I've never felt so alone in my entire life."  


"Yeah.", Buffy agrees, her thoughts downcast.  


"And that's you every day, isn't it?", Faith asks, looking at Buffy for confirmation.  


Buffy is mildly surprised to find out how well Faith understands her now. She pauses, composing her thoughts on the matter before speaking, "I love my friends. I'm very grateful for them... but that's the price. Being a slayer."  


"There's only supposed to be one. Maybe that's why you and I can never get along. We're not supposed to exist together.", Faith says as she looks at her fellow slayer, expecting a serious response.  


However, Buffy couldn't resist giving Faith a good natured verbal jab, "Also, you went evil and were killing people."  


"Good point. Also a factor.", she nods, accepting the truth of Buffy's comment.  


"But you're right." Buffy hesitated before continuing, "I mean, I... I guess everyone's alone. But being a slayer? There's a burden we can't share.", Buffy admitted, looking over at Faith.

"And no one else can feel it.", Faith paused, considering that fact. She quickly decided to lighten the mood, "Thank God we're hot chicks with superpowers."  


"Takes the edge off.", Buffy replied, a touch of humor in her voice.  


"Comforting.", Faith concluded.

"Mm-hmm."

In the brief silence that followed, both slayers were contemplating this new understanding of each other, and what it meant to their renewed relationship. However, Faith quickly grew uncomfortable with the silence, and decided to speak.

"I had a little talk with The First...", she said with hesitation. 

TBC...

  
  
  
  
  



	2. Reconciliation

  


Buffy was speechless. She kept her features impassive as she contemplated what this meant.

The First had paid a visit to Faith. What was it's game was, Buffy had no clue, but she was going to find out.

  


"Wow, the First. I guess that must have been interesting.", she waited, expecting Faith to supply details on the encounter. She would not be disappointed by the response.

  


"It showed up lookin' like the Mayor. Didn't care much for what it had to say.", Faith took a deep breath, preparing for what she was about to say. "The first thing that it did was attack your leadership, then it tried to tell me that you were just looking for an excuse to finish me off."

  


"You know that I would never really hurt you again Faith, not after all we've been through.", Buffy said, trying her best to reassure Faith, but the younger girl didn't look entirely convinced.

  


"Yeah, I know B, but the First was trying so damn hard to be serious, and then it started gettin' into my head, bringing up stuff about our past....", the brunette trailed off, trying to avoid being specific about what it had said. However, Buffy's curiosity wanted details.

  


"What do you mean 'stuff about our past'?"

  


Faith hesitated, unsure if she should tell Buffy the whole truth. After a bit of internal debating, she decided 'what the hell', and started explaining, "It told me that deep down, I've always wanted you to accept me..., to love me, even." Before Buffy could react, Faith continued, "Then it said that nobody will ever love me..., that they'll always see me as a killer.", Faith finished, looking at the bedspread to avoid Buffy's gaze. 

  


"I don't."

  


At this comment, Faith glanced up, her expression a mix of confusion and hurt. "Thanks for clearing that up B.", the sarcasm evident in her voice.

  


Buffy realized what she said, and moved to clarify her answer. "I don't see you as a killer Faith, not anymore, and I'm sorry I never tried to accept you for who you are." She sat on the edge of the bed, next to Faith, and continued. "I'm sorry for all the mistakes of our past, and for what it's worth, I do care about you.", she slowly grabbed Faith's hand, and gently held it to emphasize her point. 

  


Faith was looking at Buffy in stunned silence. 'She cares about me. God, she has no idea how long I've been waiting to hear her say that.', the brunette started to smile internally, as tears of joy welled up in her eyes. She tried to turn away, but Buffy saw the tears, and worried that she had unknowingly upset the brunette slayer.

  


"Faith? Are you okay?"

  


The younger girl's answer was halfway between a laugh and a sob, as she was overcome by emotion. "Yeah B, I'm okay. It's just...I never thought I'd hear you admit to caring about me. Actually, up till a few days ago, I thought you still hated me.", she turned to face the blond, waiting for her response.

  


"Faith..., I stopped hating you a long time ago.", Buffy's serious tone confirming the fact. "I wanted to tell you for a while now, but I just couldn't bring myself to visit you in that..., that place, that prison. I'm sorry."

  


"You could have called Angel, B. He would have relayed the message for you."

  


"No, it wouldn't have been right. I should have at least had the courage to tell you directly.", Buffy said, her expression hinting at the shame she felt. 

  


"It's okay B, at least you finally told me.", Faith flashed Buffy her trademark smirk, causing the blond to smile.

  


"Faith?"

  


"Yeah B?"

  


Buffy opened her mouth to speak, but reconsidered, deciding instead on action. Without warning, she enveloped the brunette in an impromptu hug. Faith stiffened at the unexpected touch, but slowly relaxed when she realized that Buffy wasn't going to hurt her. After a few moments she relaxed enough to return Buffy's hug. 

  


The two slayers stayed in their mutual embrace, neither wanting to be the first to let go. Faith was enjoying the moment when she heard Buffy speak, her voice just above a whisper.

  


"I missed you." 

  


Faith couldn't believe her ears, 'Did she just say that she missed me?', the thought filled the younger girl with feelings of uncertainty and joy. She searched her heart for an appropriate response, and was surprised with the truth she found. After a moments hesitation, she found the courage to speak. "I missed you too.", her response barely a whisper, while her eyes shone with emotion.

  


Both girls had heard each other, and the mutual honesty was a relief to the two. They released each other from the hug slowly, neither one really wanting to let go. As they separated they instinctively linked hands, the need for contact mutually felt. The bond that they had shared in times past was once again renewed, albeit a little worse for wear. 

  


Faith looked into her fellow slayer's eyes, finding that they too shone with the emotion of the moment. A question formed on her lips, and she hesitated a moment before deciding to speak. "B? I kinda' don't want to be alone. You know, in case the First decides to make a return visit. Would you...would you stay here tonight? ", Faith asked hopefully, trying her best to sound casual about it.

  


Buffy's expression briefly flashed with uncertainty, but it was quickly replaced with compassion. "I'll stay here Faith. After all, it is my room.", Buffy smiled as she said this. Her expression quickly changed however, as she realized that there was one more thing that she still had to do. "Um, Faith? I know I said that I would stay, but there's something that I have to do first." The brunette looked at her, a mix of confusion and disappointment on her face. Buffy quickly moved to explain, as she reached for the scythe, "There's a place that might have answers about this," she raised the weapon in emphasis before continuing, "I have to check it out as soon as possible, before the First and Caleb get to it."

  


"You're not planning on going out alone are ya' B?", Faith's voice was tinged with concern.

  


"I was.", Buffy was touched by Faith's concern over her well being. "You feeling up to a little field trip?"

  


"You know it. Just let me get outta' this bed and get my boots on, an' we can roll."

  


Buffy waited as Faith got ready, mentally going over their conversation, smiling as she did. When Faith was ready, the two slayers went downstairs and headed directly for the front door. Buffy opened it and found herself facing Spike. 

  


He looked at the chosen two, surprise evident in his features. "Slayer.", his voice was neutral as he spoke to Buffy.

  


"Spike.", Buffy too kept her response neutral.

  


"I see you found the holy grail, or holy hand grenade, whatever that thing is.", he pointed at the weapon as he spoke.

  


"Right now we're going with scythe."

  


"I see you're off to somewhere."

  


"We need info on the scythe. Faith and I are going to check out a lead.", she smiled a little as she mentioned the younger slayer's name. Spike raised an eyebrow at the reaction, but said nothing. Faith witnessed this and spoke up.

  


"Look vampy, B and I need to get going. Time's a wastin'.", she looked to Buffy for confirmation. Buffy returned the look before turning to Spike.

  


"We need you to watch the vineyard, let us know if Caleb or the Bringers try anything. We're headed for Restfield cemetery.", Buffy spoke with authority, handing out the order with practiced ease. Spike nodded in confirmation, and headed back out the door. As he was walking away, Buffy called out, "Spike, thanks for the pep talk last night, it really helped."

  


He spoke without turning around. "No problem slayer, just doing my part.", he waved a hand into the air for emphasis as he walked away, intent on his mission.

  


The two slayers started off in the opposite direction, linking hands after a moment of walking. Faith didn't want to interrupt the moment, but curiosity got the best of her. "What kind of pep talk B?", her voice containing a hint of jealousy. Buffy smirked at hearing Faith's tone, but quickly answered.

  


"I'll explain on the way.", she said, her tone reassuring.

  


Faith patiently listened as Buffy recounted the speech to her.

  
  



	3. Becoming Closer

Buffy finished recounting to Faith the details of Spike's speech as the two slayers arrived at the cemetery. Faith had a bemused expression on her face as she absorbed what Buffy had said.

  


"Wow B, maybe Spike should be a motivational speaker. That was one hell of a speech.", She said honestly. 

  


"Oh yeah, he's the Tony Robbins of the undead.", Buffy said sarcastically before continuing, "Still, most of what he said made sense, and he managed to convince me not to give up."

  


"No way you'd ever give up B.," Faith said confidently, "It's just not in you." 

  


Buffy looked at Faith, she was surprised by the level of belief the brunette had in her counterpart. Actually, when she thought about it, Faith had done everything in her power to support Buffy since she had gotten back into town. She even tried to tell the gang not to put her in charge when they had forced Buffy to leave, going so far as to follow Buffy outside to try to convince her to stay. A pang of guilt hit the older slayer, and she remembered how she had lashed out at Faith, accusing her of wanting the takeover. 'Faith was right. I don't know how she feels about all this, but I'm going to try to understand.' She looked at Faith, and realized that she hadn't responded to her statement yet. In fact, the younger girl seemed to be studying her intently. Buffy blushed with embarrassment, and Faith decided to speak.

  


"You okay B? You seemed kinda' lost in thought for a moment there.", Her voice was filled with concern for the older girl. Buffy smiled as she heard this, and quickly answered.

  


"I'm okay Faith, I was just thinking about how I've treated you since you came back.", Buffy paused before continuing, "I'm sorry I accused you of trying to take my place again, I wasn't thinking straight.", She apologized, thinking to herself, 'Willow was right, I was still hanging onto my insecurities about Faith coming back, even though I knew how much she wanted to help.'

  


Faith was slightly surprised at Buffy's apology, but she tried not to show it. "No problem B, I know you were just looking for an easy target. All's forgiven. No harm, no foul.", She flashed Buffy a grin as a sign of reassurance. She found it easy to forgive Buffy, even though she was hurt by Buffy's earlier accusation. 'No more holding grudges Faith, especially against B.', she mentally reminded herself. She had conquered her feelings of anger and resentment a long time ago, focusing instead on the future. 'Maybe even a future with B...' She smiled at that thought, and gently squeezed Buffy's hand, but it was a gesture more to comfort her than Buffy.

  
  


***********************************************

  
  


After a walking for a little while longer they finally reached the part of the graveyard that contained the unconsecrated grounds. They searched among the tombs until they finally came across a pyramid-shaped tomb. It appeared to be very old, and was definitely Egyptian in design. The slayers stopped at the door, examining the heavy stone barrier.

  


"How do you think we open it?", Buffy asked as she turned to Faith.

  


"Simple B, we knock.", Faith replied, gesturing toward the door, "Slayer style."

  


Buffy looked at the door, and realized what Faith meant. "Makes sense to me. Are you ready Faith?", she asked as she lined up next to the brunette.

  


"Ready B. On three?", she said as she prepared herself.

  


"One."

  


"Two."

  


"Three!", they both said, as they kicked the door in unison.

  


Wham! The impact knocked the door over with a heavy thud, sending a cloud of dust up and into the tomb. The slayers cautiously entered, eyes open for any danger. They were halfway across the tomb when they heard a voice from the shadows. 

  


"I'd forgotten."

  


The slayers turned around, their gaze falling upon an old woman dressed entirely in white. Before they had a chance to react, she spoke again.

  


"I'd forgotten how young you would be. It comes from the waiting. The mind plays tricks.", She gestured to the scythe Buffy was holding. "I see you found our weapon."

  


"Who are you?", Buffy asked.

  


"One of many. Well, time was. Now I'm alone in the world. I'd gamble you know what that's like.", She turned to look at Faith, as if seeing her for the first time, "Or maybe not." She turned back to Buffy as she spoke, "Two slayers. This has never occurred before. You are both fortunate to have each other.", She glanced briefly at each girl, "But I sense you already know that."

  


Faith was uncomfortable with the woman's direct insight, and tried changing the topic. "So, what are you? Some kind of ghost?"

  


The woman smiled, a warm, friendly gesture that put the slayers at ease. "No. I'm as real as you are, just . . . well, put it this way; I look good for my age.", She paused briefly before continuing, "I've been waiting." The woman held out a hand, gesturing toward the scythe, which Buffy handed to her. She examined it as she spoke, "You pulled it out of the rock. I was one of those who put it there, and don't think that was easy."

  


"What is it?", Buffy asked curiously.

  


"A weapon. A scythe. We forged it in secrecy for one like you, kept it hidden from the Shadow Men, who . . . ," she was briefly interrupted by Buffy.

  


"Yeah. Met them. Didn't care for 'em.", She said, an expression of disgust on her face.

  


The woman looked at Buffy with a new level of respect, handing the scythe back to her before continuing. "Yes, then you know. They became the Watchers, and the Watchers watched the Slayers, but we were watching them."

  


Faith now had a question of her own. "So, what are you?"

  


"Guardians. Women who want to help and protect you. The scythe was forged centuries ago by us, and used only once before. It killed the last pure demon that walked upon the earth. After that, the scythe was hidden, until a time when it would be needed again."

  


"Does this mean I can win?", Buffy said as she held up the scythe, gesturing to it.

  


"That is really up to you.", The guardian pointed at the scythe, continuing. "That is a powerful weapon, but you already have weapons. Use it wisely, and perhaps you both can beat back the rising darkness. One way or the other, it can only mean an end is truly near."

  


The guardian finished her speech, and the slayers were about to respond, when two hands reached out from the shadows, snapping the guardian's neck. The rest of the figure stepped from the shadows, revealing itself as Caleb.

  


"I'm sorry, did you still need to talk to her?", He said, gesturing to the body on the floor.

  


"I thought platinum boy was supposed to be watching this loser.", Faith said, moving into defensive position next to Buffy.

  


"Look like he gave Spike the slip. Oh well, I guess we'll have to kick his ass.", Buffy spoke, raising the scythe to attack.

  


"Ready B?"

  


"Ready Faith."

  


At this confirmation the slayers leapt into battle, fighting Caleb in a dual attack. The preacher seemed to have found more power, but he was no match for the synchronized slayers. The battle would soon be over.

  


****************************************

  


Buffy and Faith exited the graveyard, discussing all that had just happened, the guardian's speech, the defeat of Caleb, the surprise encounter with Angel, and what they should do next.

  


"I tell ya' B, the last person I expected to see tonight was Angel."

  


"Yeah, I didn't expect to see him, but it's a good thing that he showed up. This," She held up the amulet he had given her, "might give us the edge that we need. Besides, you two seemed to be getting along all brother and sister like.", Buffy said, waiting for Faith's response.

  


"Well, I guess you could say that we understand each other a little better. That little mental mind-walk we did gave me another reason not to give up this redemption gig.", Faith glanced at Buffy, waiting for her reaction.

  


"Another reason? What was your first reason not to give up?", the blond asked curiously.

  


Faith turned away from Buffy as she spoke, her voice barely above a whisper, "You are B."

  


The blonde slayer stopped, she had heard what Faith had said, and was in a bit of shock. 'Did I hear that right? I was the reason she changed? I'm the reason she doesn't give up?' The thought that she was the reason Faith continued on the path to redemption was overwhelming. However, Faith had noticed her delay, and walked back to where the other slayer stood.

  


"B? Are you okay?", she looked at Buffy with concern. 

  


Buffy was pulled from her thoughts by Faith's voice. "Huh? Oh, yeah Faith, I'm fine. It's just . . . Did I hear you right?", she said, the blond's expression a mask of emotional confusion.

  


Faith smirked at Buffy's reaction, responding truthfully, "Yeah B. No matter how tough things get, thinkin' of you is what keeps me goin'. Kinda' my own personal motivation."

  


Buffy was touched by the brunette's honesty. "You know Faith, you've changed a lot, we both have, and I want you to know that I'm really proud of you." 

  


Faith blushed at Buffy's praise, and paused a moment before answering. "Thanks B. I'm proud of you too. The work you do here, it really matters."

  


The two slayers smiled at each other, as no words were necessary to express how they felt. They were each aware of a mutual attraction, but both were afraid to say anything about it. They continued walking, and were soon back at the Summers' home. 

  


*********************************************

  


After the slayers had a chance to explain what they had found, and relayed the news of Caleb's death, Buffy spent a moment patching things up with her sister, who hadn't been pleased with Buffy's plan to send her away. They quickly made up, after which Buffy and Faith headed upstairs to get some well deserved rest.

  


Buffy entered her room, followed by Faith, who sat on the edge of the bed. They were both tired and anxious, knowing that this was the first time that they had ever slept in the same room. They both sort of fidgeted for a moment, wondering what to do next. Buffy moved to the bed's edge, sitting down next to Faith.

  


"So, I guess we should get some sleep. We've got a big day ahead of us.", Buffy's nervousness was evident in her tone.

  


Faith was just as nervous, hesitating before she spoke. "Yeah, sleep. That sounds good B." 

  


Buffy removed her shoes, and Faith quickly followed her lead. Soon the girls were changed and ready for bed. Faith crawled in on one side, and Buffy got in on the other side. The slayers lay on the bed facing each other. The air was thick with anticipation.

  


Buffy looked into Faith's eyes, searching for a clue on what to do next. She was amazed at how calm she appeared, and reached out to touch her cheek. Faith didn't move, merely smiling at Buffy's tender touch. After a moment Faith reached out, brushing a stray lock of hair from Buffy's face. She tucked it behind the blond's ear, her touch feather light, as she drew back her hand. 

  


Faith was contentedly basking in Buffy's gaze, when she noticed the older girl move closer, bringing them mere inches apart. The brunette knew what was coming next, and she held her breath in anticipation as she moved to make contact with her counterpart.

  


The kiss was soft and tender, and both girls savored the touch. It was filled with love and longing, and the slayers were soon in a passionate embrace. Their touch was gentle, as hands caressed skin, each exploring the simple sensation of contact. Faith lightly traced her fingers across Buffy's side, marveling at the smooth, warm surface. Buffy's hand wandered to Faith's taut stomach, touching her with pure passion, but she stopped when she felt a change in the skin's surface. She immediately recognized what it was, and broke away from the kiss as she spoke.

  


"Oh god. Faith, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to . . . I never should have hurt you. It was just . . . ," she trailed off, as her eyes welled with tears, her voice lost to the emotion of the moment.

  


"No, don't cry B. Please. I'm alright now. It's all in the past. This," she took Buffy's hand, placing it on the scar, "is a reminder of how I hurt you, and that's something I never wanna' do again." She moved Buffy's hand further up, resting it on her heart as spoke, "I love you Buffy, I always have, and nothing will ever change that."

  


Buffy was crying tears of happiness now, as Faith's declaration of love had touched her deeply, and she smiled as she responded honestly, "Faith, I-I love you too, I'm sorry I didn't see it before, and I promise, I'll never hurt you again, no matter what." She reached over and hugged Faith, pouring all her feelings into the embrace.

  


Faith allowed herself to be enveloped in Buffy's touch, finding comfort from the simple contact. Both slayers were physically and emotionally drained, and soon fell asleep in each other's arms.

  



End file.
